Losing my Mind

Over the last several months my life has changed dramatically and I don't know what direction that I'm going in. I seem to hurt everyone that I come in contact with. My mind just hasn't been the same and most times I find myself lost and confused. I know the best thing to do it put my faith in the man up stairs. But even then sometimes I just don't know and how to even really go about it. I know people say pray and I do but not like I should. So as of now I'm kind of stuck and lost, hurt and more confused than ever. I will keep my head up and try to make it on the best I can until I can figure things out or my Father will show me the way.

Needing Job

I guess in a month or so I will find out what it will be like to be homeless. Everyone seems to think that I have money cause I'm an E7 in the Army. Well everyone seems to forget I have bills as well. I'm paying for a house , truck , car and utilities for a home that I'm currently not living in. Also I'm paying rent , utilities for an apartment in another location. I have one month rent left and if I don't find a job soon I will be forced to live in my truck. But do you think people care. From my stand point everyone is out to get what they want or ask me for stuff I just can't provide. I'm not saying that this is bad on them but they need to realize that I can't even help myself right now how can I help someone else. I just don't know what to do I been looking for work but just like everyone else I'm filling out applications online and never get any feedback. If I had the money I would be more than happy to help whoever needs it.

Kids do we really know them

It's truly amazing to find out how much your grand kids really do love you. My Granddaughter for the last couple of years has really giving me a hard time. Most times she only gives me time of the Day when she is ready. I try to play with her and talk to her but she just kicks me to the curb. When she want to spend time with me then she does. But recently things have changed and she and her brothers no longer live with me. As well I don't live at my house anymore. Well our relationship now since we have been apart is getting stronger now and she actually ask to see me or want me to visit her all the time. Also when I do go and see her she wants to get in my truck and leave too. She is really missing her Dad right now and he is her heart as she is his heart. Just wished there was something I could do to get the kids back with their Dad. The boys want to be back with their dad just as much as she does but since living with their mother they are somewhat scared to say certain things when she is around. Even when I visit them she has to be around and watching as if someone was going to steal the kids from her. It's been hard on everyone since the mother pulled her stunt to get the kids even if it is temporary. In the end she will get her since I know the man upstairs don't like ugly and I'm not saying I'm the best in trying to prove myself to him but I love the kids. I will do just about anything to get them back where they truly belong and not with her. She is the devil and I never before wished harm on anyone until now. Not saying I want anything to happen to her at least not from me or having anything to do with me. But this test have really shown me how much the kids love me because being with them every Day I guess they just got used to me being around and knew that I was always going to be around made me feel like they didn't need me as much as I need them in my life. But that has changed and I thank God for that but not for them being with their mom. If you knew her personally then you would know what I mean. Well enough for now will be back soon to write some more......

Friends who need them if they act the way they do

I was pretty upset because here I am trying to look out for two people who happen to be in the Service. Well ones an Officer and the other is an Enlisted. Well they are current dating, and both have Face Book pages which in right is there business. But when you post things and you have bunch of other Soldiers out there reading your page or receive notes from you when you post items. I left a note on something one said to the other and they both got upset with me when I'm just trying to watch their backs. Well since I left my message, they both gave me the boot from their pages which in turn pissed me off but okay fine if that's the way you want it then I'm done with you. Well I come to work Today and now one of them wants us to still be friends after deleting me and didn't even give me the respect due since I am watching his back. Okay fine if you go upset about it then he should have been man enough to hit me up on my cell and tell me about it and just simply say hey man everyone that's on my page dealing with the Service I'm going to delete so that there are no problems in the future. Now I could have handle that and say hey if I upset ted you with what I say we could have squashed it then. But don't cut me off then act like nothing is wrong with that who do you really think you are. Hell, I don't need you if that's what you think. Hell, I got plenty of Friends who show respect and would have even thanked me for watching their backs.

Fake azz People

It's a shame when people can't be honest with you and answer their phone. I'm suppose to work for someone that has a cleaning business. We this person I been working for about a month now wont return my phone call. I went away for school for a week came back early from school and yes I can understand she had someone take my place for the time that I was gone. Okay when I got back she said I could start working on the first of June. Well the first is here and she wont tell me if I'm working or not. I went to the job last night and seen her car there and called and text her and she still doesn't answer. Hours later she text me that she would call me or text and it's another day now and I still haven't heard from her what kind of crap is this going on. If she don't want me working for her then she should simple just tell me and stop giving me the run around I don't care about not having the job just a simple answer would do.

Three times the Charm I hope

I have been to a class two times now and each time I failed and got sent home. The second time I really thought I passed the test only to be let down again. Well found out that my higher command has thrown me back into another class starting next FEB well I hope that I pass that one coming. I do understand the material a whole lot better than the first time. So three times should be the charm. It was funny to find this out about me going again because a co-worker who failed to is going back as well. Man did she try to chew me out thinking that I had something to do with putting her back in for it. Told her you got the wrong one and that she needed to check to see who put her in. That's when I found out that I was enrolled again as well. I don't want to go but I will take this challenge again and keep it right in the butt. There is no way that I should fail for a third time. Keep fingers crossed for me cause I know that I will for myself.

How much do people think I really know

How do people think that you know everything? Every Day I have people come at me at work like I know everything. It's funny that people been doing their jobs for years and still don't understand what they are doing but expect me to know theirs. To me this just don't make sense to me why would I know someone’s job that I haven't been trained for. Yes, the questions that they do ask I do know or understand how to answer it. Then again how many times you must show someone how to do the job after they take notes and write them down and they still asked you the same damn questions. This has been going on for years for me as being the person everyone comes to. When do I get a break and ask other people questions for once? I would just like to finish my late couple of years of working and take it easy without all the questions from others. If they were in college or school, they would have to research information that they need to complete the tasks at hand.

Duh I'm a Male

How does a man really think he can get away with things and always get caught, story of my life. Need to get a new one if you catch my drift. I will from this point on keep myself out of trouble and walk the right path. Guys just don't do it and you wont get into trouble. If you truly love your woman then stick by her always and never stray away from home

Two time Failure

I really just feel so stupid. I went to a class that I done last year and still failed the course.I tell you this I thought I nailed that test but when they called me out I was like dawn either I passed or I didn't. But after seeing other people come outside too I knew that I was part of the failing group and again would be sent home with a bad taste in my mouth. God I hate that feeling I never ever have failed anything in the Military before until now. I just knew I passed but found out today I have to go back again for the third time next Feb, God everyone wish me luck cause I'm going to need it. I hope that three times the charm you know what I mean.

You know it's HOT!!!

You can really tell the difference when it is really hot outside. My AC unit is out and will cost at least 5,000 to replace the unit. I have all the windows open and it has some breeze coming through but not enough to cool the place off. Now I'm using the bathroom and it is burning up in here with no breeze coming in here. Sad to say I'm sitting here with an TV Guide trying to cool off........ Whatever happened to people putting ceiling fans in their bathrooms lmao.. Think I will invest and trying to add one myself..... So wish me luck..