Thoughts for 12 May 2007

I kind of in that (funk mode) in that lost period again as of why am I here. Well downloading another Ship today and I pretty much don't have that much to do today and have too much time on my hands. My personnel plus the new personnel that has just arrive are out doing a pretty good job here and I don't have to sit here and monitor them. Some times it feels not having to worry about them taking care of business . It makes me look good but I don't need the Glory and Praise at most does as long as they are happy then i'm good. I will miss the personnel who just left because some of us came to be real close. They have also taught me alot of about what I need to do here. The learnig wasn't to hard since I have some what worked in the same field in my civilian life (shipping and receiving) so I have a good understanding of what is going on. The new guys seem pretty cool as I was really attached to the old ones who just left to go home. I assume I will be just as close to they guys as well in due time. Well today I have too much time on my hands which has me thinking too much again. This is not a good feeling because now I feel lost again and no one to talk to so where do I go from here. I can watch so many movies and surf the internet when it is working. Sorry service goes in and out all the time. Last month the internet almost drove me crazy because the guys who's in charge of it went on vacation and left no one to fix it so I couldn't access it. Some time it would pop up and other time there is noting to look for. Wow 6 months have come and gone and 6 months left to go if we don't get stuck here. You know there is always a chance of that happening but I hope not. Standing out here on the Pier tonight missing my family and friends the few I do have. Officers especially the young ones what are we going to do with them. They are just like have privates or teenaagers around lmao if you know what i'm saying some times I feel like they are 8th Grader's. For the first time in my life I find myself wanting to just give up on my job as Supervisor. My last Deployment really wore me out and I didn't want to have to deal with them again just wanted a job to do then go home. Well guess what got deployed again and what was the first thing they did to me was give me soldiers. Don't get me wrong I Love the Soldiers that I have right now but sometimes we do have issues. Dealing with Soldiers and some of the issues they have is starting to take a toll on me again and i'm like wow what did I get myself into when I could have just stayed home after I got sent home from the Mob Station. I try to take care of them as much as possible and try to save them from all the bull crap that is going on here. I been trying to keep them with me as long as I can since some sections and mine have been losing some from time to time. Then there are times i'm like maybe I should just let them go to the sections that want them so they can see for themselves what I really do for them and maybe they will understand what I mean. Lately I been feeling that I don't have what it takes to be a Leader anymore I don't think that i'm giving up just the way that I feel. Am I wrong for feeling this way. The Soldiers coming in today really don't know what hard work is and want to make everything easy for themselves well I hate to say it but sometime you have to work hard and long days at that. Last minutes issues always come up and you have to make sure that the job get's done. Then there are times when Soldiers get upset because things are not the way they want it to be but welcome to the Military Folks suck it up and drive on. Enough for now I will be back on here very soon to write more. For those of you that Follow my writings Thank you.